Sonatina
by Ryuuza
Summary: In which Nuriko gets ice cream, Tasuki expands Chichiri's limited knowledge of expletives, and Hotohori bemoans his fate. Appearances by Mitsukake's hot salsa and Miaka's burnt pasta. Angsty.


_Disclaimer:_ [[looks up Japanese translation for "I don't own Fushigi Yuugi."]]

_Author's Note:_ Though I love Nuriko/Hotohori pairings to death [[glomps]] I've always thought Nuriko/Tasuki pairings were just so kawaii too!  Blame Caroline of Weeping Willow and her story Sakura.  Anyway, I decided to attempt a Nuri/Tas fic.  ^^;; Turned out a little differently than I'd anticipated.  All this unrequited stuff just makes me sad.  [[sniff]]   And I never meant to make it so hard for poor Sai!  [[consoles]]

_Warnings:_ Shounen-ai, Tasuki language, fluff 'n' sap (but only in moderate amounts!), angst, Miaka's cooking…~_~;;

**Sonatina**

"Come with me."

"Where to?"

"Anywhere."

He went.

Ryuuen would have gladly followed him to the edge of the earth.  As it was, they ended up in an ice cream parlor which was much more to his liking anyway.  His violet eyes lit up at the rows of ice cream displayed before him, gleaming in the fluorescent lighting of the store.  His voracious sweet tooth returned from a noticeable absence, his past week being ringed with a bout of internal angst—what, he didn't want to get into, especially during his first escape from it in days.  This treat was probably an effort to lift his spirits and doing a remarkable job of it too.

"I can have anything I want?" he questioned the man beside him in delight.

"Hai," was his answer, accompanied by a slight inclination of the head and a faint smile teasing the corners of lips Ryuuen would love to see smeared with strawberry ice cream.

He turned eagerly to the waiting clerk, his mouth watering as he pictured hot fudge sundaes and banana splits with cherries and whipped cream and caramel drizzled on the side… 

"You look flushed."

"I'm excited."  Ryuuen grinned at his double entendre.  Then he beamed at the girl behind the counter and proceeded to rattle off a large and long order after which he was met with by a pair of large, blinking blue eyes when he paused for breath.

Low, throaty laughter sounded behind him.  He turned to meet an amused smile.  "I'm afraid that you may have been spending too much time with Miaka," his companion teased.

Ryuuen laughed too.  "I've always been this way about ice cream, Sai.  You know that!"  He gave the clerk a sheepish smile.  "So—"

"Um," the girl said, biting her lip.  She rummaged in the drawer below the counter and pulled out a pad and a pencil.  She met her customers' eyes again.  "I think I should write this down.  Could you repeat the order again, onegai?"

Ten minutes later, Ryuuen was seated comfortably at a table outside the store, shaded by a cheerful yellow-and-white striped umbrella and enjoying the warmth of the day as he plowed into his massive sundae.  He savored the sweetness of each unique flavor, his tongue lapping over the spoon to make sure he didn't miss a bit.  His eyes drifted closed as the cold treat slid down his throat and left a trail of strawberry and chocolate aftertaste.  And mint, he noted with the pleasure of a connoisseur in the face of a masterpiece.

"Enjoying yourself?" asked his companion, spooning a bite of vanilla ice cream and eating it slowly.

"Immensely."  Ryuuen's eyes opened and he grinned.  "I love you Sai!"

"I'm glad to see you smile again."  The voice was soft.

"You've given me a good reason to," he replied with a cheeky smile.

They were silent for a moment, comfortable in each other's presence as they enjoyed each other's company.  Then, Sai said, "Take that along.  We should get back.  Miaka made me promise to bring her back a carton of cookie dough ice cream."  He smiled wryly.  "No telling what she'll do if she doesn't get it soon."

Ryuuen agreed.  "She's probably driven Taka up a wall by now."  He picked up the remains of his sundae possessively and continued to eat as he followed the taller man to his car.  _Gen-chan might want some of this_, he mused as he slid into the passenger seat.  The other man was as fanatic as Ryuuen himself about triple-decker strawberry and chocolate mint sundaes topped with hot fudge, banana slices, peanuts, a pile of whipped cream and a cherry.  Feeling rather benevolent with sugar in his bloodstream, he decided he would save his sundae for his friend.

_He'll be prostrate at my feet with gratefulness…_after_ he attacks the sundae, naturally._

"Do you love him?"

"That ain't relative."

"He's in love with someone else."

"I know."

_Dammit_.

Genrou rolled over and sat up, disentangling his legs from his sheets and swinging them over the side of his bed.  His head throbbed at the movement and he groaned.  "Goddamn fuckin' hangover," he muttered under his breath.

"If you drank less at night…" Houjun commented mildly from the doorway.

He was answered with a glare.

"C'mon Genrou, it's already noon."

"Dammit, Houjun, I didn't get in bed 'til four in the fuckin' morning!  Would you let me _sleep_?"

Houjun sighed and stepped into the room.  "And why was that?" he asked quietly, choosing to ignore the latter part of his friend's grumblings, especially since he was already sitting up in bed, awake.  Houjun seated himself on the edge of the bed.  "You were out drinking until three this morning."

"Drinking _and_ partying," Genrou corrected.  It wasn't like he'd been doing nothing but drinking for five or six hours straight.  Damn, he couldn't even remember exactly how many hours he'd been out… "And I didn't get to bed 'til _four_ because _you_ came in and we started talkin' 'bout…"  He started then moaned, cursing again.  "_Fuck!_  I told you about Ryuuen, didn't I?"

"Hai."

Genrou proceeded to broaden Houjun's limited vocabulary of expletives.  After a long diatribe, the red-haired man groaned and pleaded of his friend, "Don't tell him, 'kay Houjun?"  He buried his face in his hands.  "That's the last fuckin' thing he needs.  He's so damn gaga over Sai…gods."

Houjun watched sympathetically as his friend berated himself for feelings he had been unable to help.  He was in no better mood about those emotions this morning than last night, when he had first spilled them unknowingly in his drunken state.  

When Genrou had stumbled into the apartment that he, Houjun, and Ryuuen shared, he had been drunk enough and loud enough to wake up Doukan, who shared an apartment with Myojuan and Taka, across the hall.  Houjun had sent the young man back to sleep and had tried to get Genrou to settle down.  Unfortunately, Genrou had been in no mood to get to bed and instead complained about his "fuckin' messh'd up eksishtensh" which Houjun had translated as "fucking messed up existence."  Genrou had then promptly griped about Ryuuen, Saihitei, himself, and how it wasn't his damn fault he'd fallen in love with his best friend.  Fortunately, Ryuuen had proved time and again to be a sound sleeper and hadn't woken up to the sound of his name.

"I won't be the one to tell him," Houjun promised, watching a hungover Genrou struggle to remember how much he had told the man sitting in front of him the previous night.

_Everything,_ thought Houjun, _and a little too much._

Ryuuen was the one who deserved to hear it.

"G'dammit."  Genrou, after mumbling a sincere thankyou to Houjun for keeping his secret a secret, got to his feet and, still clad in only his green pajama pants, stumbled into the living room.  He was greeted with the aroma of freshly burnt pasta, an admonishing Taka, and a giggling Miaka.  Myojuan had his head stuck in the front door, asking the lovebirds if they needed the hot or the mild salsa.

"The hot!" Miaka chirped, her eyes sparkling.

Taka groaned.  "Pay _attention_, Miaka!"  He turned the heat on the stove down a notch.  "We're not wasting another batch of pasta.  Think of the cost."

"AAARRGH!!"  Genrou gripped his head in acute agony.  The combination of the bright midday sunlight shining through the windows, the smell of food, and the insanely merry voices of his friends was too much to bear.  His nerves were frazzled enough already, dammit.  "Close th' fuckin' blinds already!  An', oh, god," he clutched his stomach and turned, ready to hightail to the bathroom.

"Koniichiwa, Myojuan!"  Ryuuen's cheerful voice drifted through the open door.  "I brought Sai for lunch!"  His violet-topped head poked itself under Myojuan's arm as he slipped into the room.  Wrinkling his nose, he asked, "Did someone burn something—oh, hi Miaka."  He grinned.

"Ryuuen!" Miaka shrieked happily.  She ran to hug him, leaving Taka in the kitchen, then peered past Myojuan, who had moved across the hall to his own apartment to fetch the hot salsa, at Saihitei.  "Did you bring me my ice cream?" she demanded.

Sai was smiling as he held up a bag.  "Hai."

Genrou, at the sight of the half-eaten sundae in Ryuuen's arms, clasped a hand over his mouth, and with a muffled moan, dashed out of the room.

Ryuuen blinked.  Then he sighed.  "He's hung over again, ne?"

"Hai."  Houjun stepped into the room.  "He'll be all right soon.  Is Doukan coming over for lunch?"  The question was directed at Myojuan who had returned with a jar in his hand.

"Of course.  It's tradition."  Myojuan smiled.  "He just told me he had to finish up his paragraph on…the bioevolutionary effects of…"  Trailing off, Myojuan grinned sheepishly at the unanimous looks of understanding.  Few people could follow Doukan's large vocabulary.  "He'll be here in five minutes or so."

Depositing his dish of rapidly melting ice cream on the table, Ryuuen said, "I'm going to go see if Gen-chan's okay."  He found his best friend in the bathroom, rinsing out his mouth after an offering to the porcelain god.  "Daijobou, Gen-chan?"

Genrou met his eyes in the mirror.  "I'm _fine_.  Peachy.  _Wonderful_."  _God I can't believe Houjun knows.  Fuck._

"You don't sound it," said Ryuuen doubtfully, stepping inside the small area.  "Still hungover, ne?"  When he didn't receive a response, he patted his friend's bare back.  "Not to worry, I'll fix you my Special again.  It'll get rid of your hangover just like that!" He snapped.  "Can't have you green at our weekly lunch!"

"Dammit, Ryuu!"  Whirling around, Genrou's eyes flashed as he stared down at the shorter man.  He gritted his teeth.  "It--fuck, it just won't work."  His shoulders slumped.  "It…just won't work."

Ryuuen's brow wrinkled.  "My Special always works."  But he had a feeling that that wasn't what his friend had been referring to.  "What's wrong?"  He applied a gentle hand to Genrou's shoulders, shoving him lightly.  "Gen-chan?"

_He loves Saihitei.  Loves him, loves him, loves—why couldn't it be me?  Just once, dammit.  Just once…_

"Genrou?"

_Never, never, never me… It'll never be me._  Genrou's head throbbed in beat with his chant.  _Never, never, never_.  His eyes were squeezed shut, against the face, the beautiful face and features of the one he loved.  He couldn't look at him, couldn't see the concern, see the care, because then it'd only ignite a spark of hope in his heart, one that would be remorselessly crushed over and over every time he saw his best friend's face light up at the sound of Saihitei's voice.  Saihitei's face.  Saihitei's name.  Saihitei.

"Gen-chan?"

"Aishiteru, Ryuu-chan," Genrou murmured.  Silently.

_Never_.

"You don't deserve him."

"Hai, I don't."

Saihitei worked a hand through his long hair, the tresses slipping easily through his fingers.  It was his habit as he thought to play with his hair.  He was thinking now.  About the serious look on Taka's face when he'd told Saihitei to make Ryuuen happy.

"He's like my older brother… Nuriko.  He loved Miaka in his past life…we all did.  But…but he put his trust in me and told me to make her happy.  He…said we were destined to be together."  Taka's voice had caught as he remembered the words he had been given by his Nuriko the night before his fellow seishi had gone and sacrificed himself.

Whereas, I, Saihitei thought humorlessly to himself, constantly tried to win Miaka away from him.  But she remained loyal.  Naturally, though, Tamahome would've felt closer to Nuriko, especially during the many days they'd traveled together while I was in Konan, wishing I could be with them…

"Make Ryuuen happy.  He deserves it.  Don't screw this up."

Short and straight to the point.

Taka had suffered no qualms about telling Saihitei that he didn't think the older man deserved Ryuuen.  Saihitei had no arguments, because he knew it was true.  He knew Ryuuen well enough to know that the other man was loving, giving, caring, so selfless when it came to his friends that, if need be, he'd sacrifice himself all over again.

He had observed Ryuuen earlier that day at the weekly lunch the Suzaku seishi and their Miko shared.  He had been concerned with his best friend who had been in a much quieter mood than usual.  Even Miaka had noticed it, blithely commenting that he was cursing a lot less than per usual.  Genrou had flushed and jabbed his chopsticks at his pasta, muttering about how at least it tasted better than some of the food the college food court served, which had neatly changed the subject to Miaka's slightly improving culinary skills.

Ryuuen, however, had continued to cast worried looks at his best friend.  Saihitei knew how close they were—Ryuuen had mentioned several times that the two had met in grade school, though they hadn't recovered the memories of their past lives until recently, after meeting Miaka through their new neighbor Taka.  He admired Ryuuen's friendliness and his ease in making friends and forming deep bonds within days.  People were attracted to Ryuuen's outgoing personality, his sense of humor, and his caring heart.

And this epitome of love, loved _him_.

Saihitei hadn't returned to his own condo yet.  He'd always felt it was too large and lonely for one person, and preferred to spend his time divided between the two apartments the rest of the seishi shared.  Miaka, though she lived in a dorm on campus, frequently dropped by as well, taking pleasure from spending time with her past protectors, being able to reminisce about their past lives but enjoy their present one together.  Saihitei treasured that time as well.  He loved to watch the interaction between everyone, noting the small differences between the reincarnated seishi and the friends of his previous life.

Many things—most, actually—had remained the same.  Such as Nuriko's _tendre_ for Hotohori, the friendship between Nuriko and Tasuki, and Miaka and Tamahome's love.  Doukan's keen intelligence had remained also, as well as Mitsukake's penchant for healing (he was in medical school at the moment) and Chichiri's role as mediator.  But a few things _had_ changed.  Chichiri had managed to find happiness with Kouran this time around and maintained a close relationship with Hikou.  Mitsukake had met Shouka again—and this time he hadn't been forced to give her up.  Tasuki knew, to Taka's great disappointment, how to swim.  And Hotohori returned Nuriko's love.

"If you love Ryuuen, make him happy.  He deserves it.  Don't screw this up."

Taka's voice resonated in his head again.

_Ryuuen…_

Yes, Saihitei did love him.  He did want him to be happy.

_He'd be happy with you,_ argued part of him, _since he loves you.  Of course he'd be happy if you loved him back and got together._

_Don't be blind, Saihitei,_ argued the other part of him.  _You know how Genrou feels.  And you know… _Saihitei propped his chin up on his hand, elbow resting on the surface of the now empty table, as he debated internally.  Everyone else, with the exception of Ryuuen and Genrou, who were having a heart-to-heart in the bedroom, had decided to take a stroll and enjoy the sunny weather.  He was alone to think…about what he knew.

The problem, he mused, was that he couldn't distinguish which of the voices clamoring in his head was his devil, and which his angel.  Or which his mind and which his heart.

Damned inconvenient, if you asked him.

Ryuuen entered the room, his complexion a bit more rosy than usual, his eyes wide, and his step hesitant.

"Sai—"

Saihitei looked at him through lowered lids, standing spotlighted in the late afternoon sunlight, his hair glinting with gold highlights that lit up his face.  He inspected the beautiful man he knew so well, loved so much, and came to a conclusion about the voices in his head.

"Hello."

"Um."  Ryuuen blinked rapidly, looking unnerved, which was unusual for him.

He had forced Nuriko to wait a lifetime for him, he thought idly.

"So he told you," was what he said instead.

Ryuuen started visibly, his hands clenching in surprise.  "You knew?"

"That he loved you?  Hai."

Long lashes lowered, hiding lavender eyes.  "I—"

"Don't feel the same?"  _Curses,_ Sai thought mildly.  His selfish side had taken over again.  _Don't be unreasonable_, he told himself.

The other man's eyes lifted to meet his once more and there was such confusion, such anguish and indecision, that he sympathized.  He knew it wasn't easy.  It was hell on him too.  But—_if you love Ryuuen, make him happy.  He deserves it.  Don't screw this up._  Taka was right, even if Saihitei was beginning to get highly annoyed that the voice wouldn't get out of his head.

"Ryuuen.  It's all right."  When Ryuuen stared at him, confused and hesitant, he said gently, forcing a smile to cover the ache in his chest, "You should be with him."

Ryuuen blinked.

"Sai…" he started, and then stopped, looking confused.  Then, as he worked things out in his mind, he met the eyes of the brown-haired man.  "I love you, you know," he said softly.

"Hai," Saihitei said with a sad smile.  "And I love you too."  _Nuriko_.

_Maybe we'll finally be able to be together in the next life…_

"Genrou—that is, I—he…"

Saihitei held a finger to his lips and Ryuuen fell silent.

"Ryuu-chan?" called Genrou from the other room, sounding as hesitant as Ryuuen had been.  If Saihitei didn't know better, he could've almost sworn he heard a quaver in the former seishi's voice.

Twisting slightly, Ryuuen called back, "Hai.  I'll…I'll be right there."  He glanced at Saihitei.

Ironic how life kept forcing him to step aside so his true love could be with someone else, thought Saihitei a touch bitterly.  He forgot his previous royal upbringing and his strict present one as well, slumping down in his chair, defeated.  But, perhaps that was just his lot in life.  Besides, his heart was clamoring to make itself heard again, finishing its earlier sentiment.  _And you know that Genrou will make him happy.  You're doing the right thing…for Nuriko.  And Tasuki._

"He's waiting," he said numbly, letting the smile drop of his face.  He couldn't trivialize this moment by falsifying his emotions.  Ryuuen knew that he loved him.  There was no point in pretending he didn't.  "So go…Nuriko."

_You damn fool,_ his mind berated him.

He sighed as Ryuuen turned to make his way back to Genrou.  His eyes widened in surprise when, moments later, Ryuuen whirled around and flung his arms around Saihitei.  "Arigatou, Sai," he whispered, a telling glint of wetness in his lovely eyes.

Saihitei hugged the other man tightly, clinging to his last thread of hope, inhaling the scent he was so familiar with, and then, finally, whispered, "Genrou's waiting, Ryuuen."

Ryuuen drew away and the gossamer strand snapped, leaving him with visions of morning dew being flung into the air, catching and reflecting back the thousands sparkles of light, then, eventually, falling to the earth resistless to the destiny gravity had carved for them…

As the man he loved walked from the room into the arms of another, Saihitei laughed at his poetic mind and vivid imagery and the melodrama his life had turned into because if he didn't laugh, he would cry.

_You better take good care of him, Genrou,_ he thought fiercely, tears beginning to streak their way down his cheeks, as he picked up his keys and left the apartment.  He drove home, to his own place, large and comfortable and upscale, perfect for someone of his status.  Someone beautiful, wealthy, and powerful.  _Lonely, he thought as he shut the door._

--

_More notes:_ Um…I figure I need to explain why Gen-chan spilled his feelings to Ryuuen in the third part when he was all "never, never" in the second part… -.-;; You see, er, Houjun and Taka had a little talk.  And Taka, ah, then told Genrou, bluntly, to tell Ryuuen how he felt.  Right.  Go Taka!  Run interference…^^ And, yes, if you couldn't tell, most of the characters are in college.  I didn't actually state that outright, but it was implied by the fact that Miaka lives on a campus dorm.  And um, Doukan is writing many papers.  (If Miaka was, say 18, he'd be 16, but he's a genius so it fits that he'd be in college with everyone else, ne?)  Meanwhile, I'd love it if you reviewed! [[hinthint]] Cookies and milk and triple-decker ice cream sundaes if you do!

Japanese à English translations: | kawaii: cute | hai: yes | onegai: please | -chan: little (honorific) | koniichiwa: good afternoon | ne: (loosely translated) right | daijobou: are you okay? | aishiteru: I love you | seishi: warriors | arigatou: thank you |


End file.
